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I spent three years reading self-help books, repeating affirmations, and “doing the work”-but nothing stuck.

I’d devour content on manifestation, financial abundance, and reprogramming my subconscious mind. I’d wake up motivated, journal my gratitudes, and recite affirmations in the mirror. And by afternoon? Right back to the same patterns, the same triggers, the same feeling that something was fundamentally broken inside me.

Then I discovered what I’d been missing all along: my body was holding onto everything my mind tried to release.

The Brutal Truth About My “Healing” Journey

Let me be honest about how ‘slow’ I felt when I first got sober. I genuinely thought all the “fun” I’d had in my younger years had permanently damaged my brain. That I was left with some level of cognitive impairment that would follow me forever.

It took months of self-criticism before I finally accepted: it is what it is. No more shame. No more guilt. Choices have consequences, and wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to help me move forward.

But here’s the embarrassing part I don’t talk about much: my deep dive into “bettering myself” was really just an infatuation with getting something for nothing.

I was desperate to find the magical formula everyone else seemed to have figured out. Add in the brain-washing effect of watching everyone’s highlight reels on social media, and you’ve got a recipe for surface-level learning that never actually creates change.

The Missing Piece Everyone Skips

After 30+ years of emotional suppression and people-pleasing, I became aware of my patterns. I could identify my low self-worth, my lack of boundaries, my need to make everyone else comfortable at my own expense.

But awareness alone didn’t change anything.

I missed the key component: knowing something in your brain is completely different from releasing what’s stored in your body.

You can trick your mind all you want (trust me, I brainwashed myself plenty), but your body? Your body holds the score. Every suppressed emotion, every swallowed boundary violation, every moment you smiled when you wanted to scream- it’s all still in there, creating static in your system.

This is where nervous system regulation comes in. And this is the piece most healing advice completely skips over.

What Your Body Knows That Your Mind Doesn’t

Here’s something they taught us in elementary science class 20 yrs ago: everything is made up of energy. But it never really drove home for me, that this also includes us in our body forms.

Think about it: emotions are literally energy in motion. When you suppress an emotion (when you swallow your anger, stuff down your grief, or fake your way through anxiety) that energy doesn’t just disappear. It gets stored in your system, creating blocks in the natural flow.

This is where understanding your energy centers (chakras) becomes practical, not just “woo-woo.”

Your Root Chakra: The Foundation Example

Let me use just one energy center as an example so we don’t get overwhelmed: your root chakra, located at the base of your spine.

This energy center is home to feelings of safety and security within yourself. When it’s balanced, you feel grounded, stable, worthy of taking up space. When it’s blocked? You might experience:

• Chronic anxiety or feeling “unsafe” even when you’re physically fine
• Difficulty making decisions or taking action
• A sense that you don’t belong or deserve good things
• Physical tension in your lower back, hips, or legs

The thing about energy centers is they can be just as imbalanced and blocked as they can be open; creating the exact opposite effect of what they’re meant to provide. Learn more about the seven chakras and their functions here.

(Interested in learning about the other chakras and what they hold? Drop a comment below; I’m considering making this a series because it genuinely fascinates me.)

Why Affirmations Alone Don’t Work

So you’ve got your conscious mind and your subconscious mind, right? The subconscious runs most of the show; it’s shaped by beliefs and stories from your experiences.

This is why everyone tells you to “just change your thoughts” or repeat affirmations to reprogram your thinking.

But here’s what they miss: your subconscious isn’t just fueled by beliefs. It’s fueled by the suppressed energy (emotions) still trapped in your system.

While reprogramming your mind is part of the equation, there will be little lasting change without committing time to release the emotions your body has been storing.

And this is where the question rises: If I’ve spent decades never allowing myself to feel my emotions, how do I even know what to look for?

The Practice: Starting Where You Are

Here’s what I wish someone had told me three years ago: this is not an overnight success story.

Being someone with a one-track mind who hyperfixates until exhaustion, I used to work really hard from sunup to sundown on a single practice. I’d get about two days in before I was bored or burned out, never gaining the satisfaction I was hoping for.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that consistent, small practices create more lasting neurological changes than sporadic intense efforts. 5-10 minutes a day of practicing awareness builds up faster than attempting massive shifts. (Yes, I thought I knew better. And yes, I kept having to restart because I gave up before allowing the benefits to show.)

The 90-Second Body Scan: Your Starting Point

Here’s a simple practice that changed everything for me. You can do this anywhere, anytime; and it only takes 90 seconds.

Step 1: Pause When Emotion Hits (10 seconds)

The next time you feel a big emotion- happy, sad, angry, anxious- stop what you’re doing. Don’t judge it, don’t try to change it. Just notice: “I’m feeling something.”

Step 2: Get Curious About Body Sensations (30 seconds)

Close your eyes if you can. Scan your body from head to toe and notice:

• Is there heaviness on your shoulders?
• Tightness in your chest or throat?
• A knot in your stomach?
• Tension in your jaw?
• Expansion and lightness through your being?
• Any sharpness or tingling anywhere?

If you have no idea what you’re searching for, welcome to the club. I didn’t either. Even after months of practice, I sometimes catch myself completely unaware. That’s normal.

Step 3: Breathe Into It (50 seconds)

Once you’ve located the sensation, breathe slowly and deeply, imagining your breath flowing directly to that spot. Don’t try to make it go away, just be with it. It takes about 90 seconds to fully feel a feeling enough to allow it to release.

That’s it. That’s the practice.

Why This Works

When you’ve spent years suppressing emotions, there’s a backlog of “baggage” collecting dust in your system. You don’t have to go back through every single memory to clear it out (though there are methods for that too).

Another option involves movement, movement is medicine. Remember: emotions are energy in motion. So doesn’t it make sense that moving your body would result in moving those suppressed emotions around?

• Exercise
• Dancing
• Yoga
• Lifting weights
• Even just shaking your body for 60 seconds

All of these allow the energy inside you to find a flow, helping regulate your nervous system in the process.

Depending on how deep you want to go, your intent will help you decide which route to take. Getting into the habit of exercising 30 minutes a day is better than never getting off the couch. But joining specific yoga practices will pinpoint stretches that target particular energy flows. Yoga with Adriene offers free trauma-informed yoga sequences that have been game-changers for many on this journey.

There’s no right or wrong way. But there’s definitely a different way.

If you’re working through deeper trauma or find yourself stuck even after trying these practices, online therapy can provide the professional support you need. Sometimes having a trained guide who understands nervous system work and somatic healing makes all the difference. Especially when you’re navigating 30+ years of suppressed emotions like I was.

The Patient Dance of Grace

Here’s what I’m learning after all this time: creating lasting change is the patient dance of having grace with yourself and setting small daily goals.

Everything is temporary. Taking 5-10 minutes a day to mentally focus and become aware is training your system to create a new cycle. Eventually, this becomes natural and you won’t even have to force yourself to do the work anymore.

While that might sound like “hippy-dippy therapist shenanigans,” I promise you: the body holds the secrets your mind has been trying to unlock.

I know not everyone wants to go down the major rabbit hole (sometimes I wish I hadn’t gotten sidetracked in certain areas). But I hope this helps anyone who’s been spinning their wheels on personal growth without seeing real, lasting change.

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What’s Next: Going Deeper Into Your Energy Centers

I’ve only scratched the surface of the root chakra here, but there are several energy centers running through your body. Each one holding specific traumas, blocks, and zones of genius.

I’m thinking of breaking down each chakra in upcoming posts:

• The sacral chakra (creativity, sexuality, emotions)
• The solar plexus (personal power, confidence, will)
• The heart chakra (love, compassion, connection)
• The throat chakra (communication, truth, expression)
• And the upper chakras (intuition, spiritual connection, consciousness)

Which one do you want me to dive into first? Drop a comment below with the area of your life where you feel most stuck or blocked- I’ll start there.

And if the 90-second body scan resonates with you, I’d love to hear about your experience. Even if it feels awkward or you “don’t feel anything” at first. Honestly that’s feedback too. That’s where we all start.

You’re not broken. You’re not too slow. You’re not behind.

You’re exactly where you need to be to take the next step.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to see results from nervous system regulation?

Everyone’s timeline is different, but most people notice subtle shifts within 2-4 weeks of daily practice. You might feel slightly calmer, sleep better, or notice you’re less reactive to triggers. The key is consistency- 5-10 minutes daily beats sporadic hour-long sessions.

Can I do nervous system work if I’m already in therapy?

Absolutely! Nervous system regulation complements therapy beautifully. In fact, many therapists now incorporate somatic practices into their work. Always let your therapist know what you’re practicing so they can support your journey.

What if I don’t feel anything during the body scan?

That’s completely normal, especially if you’ve spent years disconnected from your body. Not feeling anything is feedback; it tells you where to start. Keep practicing with curiosity, not judgment. Sensation awareness builds over time.

Do I need to believe in chakras for this to work?
Nope! You can think of chakras as energy centers, nerve plexuses, or simply different areas of your body that hold tension. The science of stored trauma in the body is well-documented; the language you use to describe it is up to you.

What’s the difference between nervous system regulation and just relaxation?

Relaxation is temporary relief. Nervous system regulation is training your body to return to a baseline state of safety more quickly and naturally. It’s like the difference between taking a painkiller and healing the injury causing the pain.

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Ready to Start Your Healing Journey? Get the Free 7-Day “Say Yes” Starter Pack

If you’ve made it this far, you’re ready to do more than just read about change; you’re ready to create it.

I’ve put together a free 7-day “Say Yes” Starter Pack designed specifically for people who are tired of surface-level healing and ready to do the real work.

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This isn’t another generic self-help freebie. This is the toolkit I wish I’d had three years ago when I was spinning my wheels, reading everything but changing nothing.

👉 Grab your free 7-Day “Say Yes” Starter Pack here and let’s start moving the energy that’s been keeping you stuck.

No fluff. No overwhelming 47-step systems. Just practical, body-based practices that actually create lasting change.

Drop a comment below once you’ve grabbed it. I’d love to hear which day resonates with you most.

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