Heads up: This post may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and purchase, I might earn a small commission- at no extra cost to you. I only recommend stuff I actually use, love, or would fight a bear for. Thanks for keeping the lights on.
I used to think freedom meant having endless options. Turns out, it’s actually the biggest trap I’ve ever walked into.
Picture this: You’re standing at a crossroads, but instead of two paths, there are seventeen. Maybe thirty-seven. Each one looks promising, each one whispers different versions of who you could become. And there you are, paralyzed, because choosing one feels like betraying all the others.
That’s been my reality for the past few years. Coming off a career in barbering, I thought I had the world figured out. I had skills, I had experience, and suddenly I had this overwhelming realization that I could literally do anything. Sounds amazing, right?
Wrong. It was cluster fuck.
When Too Much Choice Becomes a Prison
Years ago when I was apprenticing to tattoo , I learned this rule: only give clients three design options. Any more than that, and they’d freeze up. Some couldn’t even handle three. I’d watch grown adults stare at perfectly good designs, unable to pick one, because the fear of choosing wrong was stronger than their desire to get the tattoo they wanted.
I never thought I’d become that client.
But here I am, years into my personal growth journey, sitting with meditation practices that sometimes feel more like mental torture than peace, surrounded by books on manifestation and self-awareness, and I’m still asking the same question: What direction am I actually supposed to go?
The irony isn’t lost on me. Over and over I would tell clients to trust their gut, to pick what spoke to them, even behind the barber chair. Now I’m the one second-guessing every instinct, every spark of interest, every path that lights me up.
The Meditation Experiment That Went Sideways
Let me be real about something that most personal development blogs won’t tell you: sometimes the tools don’t work the way they’re supposed to.
I started meditating a couple of years ago, convinced it would be my answer to finding life direction. I’d read all these stories about people having visions, hearing whispers of guidance, getting crystal clear downloads about their purpose. So I dove in headfirst.
Except I did it all wrong. I was using cannabis to “quiet my mind,” which actually had the opposite effect. Instead of finding clarity, I’d get tunnel vision on whatever random thought popped up. Instead of connecting with some inner wisdom, I let my external identity take over and drive the whole experience.
I’d come out of these sessions thinking I had profound insights, but really I was just high and overthinking. Not exactly the spiritual awakening I was going for, but I really didn’t know any better.
The worst part? I started doubting whether I could trust myself in meditation at all. If I couldn’t even sit quietly without my brain going haywire, how was I supposed to find my authentic direction?
Looking back, I wish I’d known about proper meditation techniques from the start. The right guidance can make all the difference between spinning your wheels and actually finding that inner clarity everyone talks about. One tip being to let thoughts float by like clouds, and just observing, rather that holding onto them for dear life.
Wrestling With the Old Me vs. the New Me
Here’s where the self discovery journey gets messy, and where most people don’t talk about the real struggle.
I keep getting caught between who I used to be and who I’m trying to become. My old patterns creep in like unwelcome houseguests, reminding me of every time I didn’t follow through, every creative project I abandoned, every time I lost steam halfway to a goal.
Those little voices whisper things like: “Remember when you couldn’t stick with that business idea? Remember how you burned out doing hair? Remember when you gave up on that writing project? What makes you think this time will be different?”
It’s like being haunted by your own track record.
But then I catch myself in these moments and realize something huge: I’m not the same person who made those choices. I have new tools now. New awareness. New understanding of how my brain works and what I need to stay motivated.
The problem is, I keep mixing up the old me with my new intentions, and it creates this weird internal tug-of-war where I’m simultaneously excited about possibilities and terrified of repeating old patterns. (And I did struggle, not practicing what I had learned, in a rush to ‘accomplish’ something and fulfill instant gratification. It was a toxic pattern till I cut out all the noise and started working on one thing at a time)
The Money vs. Joy Dilemma
Can we talk about the elephant in the room for a second? The one that sits between every passion project and every practical decision?
Money.
I’m constantly caught between asking “What would bring in the most money?” and “What would bring me the most joy?” And honestly, I’m tired of pretending these have to be mutually exclusive.
I look at all the things I want to do- travel, create, explore, build something meaningful. Then I look at my bank account and think, “How could I ever afford to do all of this?” It would take forever to save up for even half of these dreams.
So my mind starts creating these elaborate stories about why I should stick with the safe, practical path. Why I should go back to what I know instead of risking everything on what lights me up.
But here’s what I’m learning: being scared of spending the next twenty years working toward something I might end up hating is actually not worse than the risk of trying something new and it not working out.
At least if I try and fail, I’ll know. If I play it safe and settle, I’ll spend those same twenty years wondering “what if.”
This is where understanding decision-making psychology becomes crucial. Our brains are wired to avoid loss more than seek gain, which is why we often stay stuck in situations that aren’t serving us.
Finding Joy in the Messy Middle
The breakthrough came when I stopped waiting for the perfect plan and started focusing on something simpler: finding joy in small moments while I figure out the bigger picture.
They say manifestation works fastest when you’re in a state of joy- that joy creates this magnetic field that attracts more good stuff. Whether you buy into that or not, I can tell you that operating from joy feels infinitely better than operating from fear.
But joy in the middle of uncertainty? That’s an art form. And sometimes, when the overwhelm gets really heavy, talking to a professional can help you sort through all those tangled thoughts. Online therapy has been a game-changer for people navigating major life transitions. Having that neutral space to process everything without judgment can be exactly what you need to find clarity.
Here’s what I’m learning about navigating this whole self discovery journey:
- Let go of perfectionism right out of the gate– You don’t have to be amazing at something immediately. Give yourself permission to suck at first.
- Focus on one new habit at a time– Don’t try to overhaul your entire life in a week. Pick one thing, master it, then add the next.
- Remember that growth has an incubation period– Just because you can’t see results immediately doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. Seeds grow underground first.
- Trust your current self over your past self- Your old track record doesn’t dictate your new possibilities. You’re not the same person who gave up before.
- Find what genuinely lights you up and do a little of it daily– Even five minutes of something that brings you joy can shift your entire energy. You don’t have to turn your passion into income, your passion can just be for you.
- Balance practical needs with passionate pursuits– You don’t have to choose all-or-nothing. Find ways to honor both.
I’m still figuring out whether to go back to doing hair full-time, but I know eventually my body will give out and I’ll need to have a safety net. I realize I was just being stubborn about the burnout, and I shouldn’t have dropped barbering as quickly as I did. Yet in all the bouncing chaos, I did find out what I do not want to do instead.
Trusting the Process When You Can’t See the Destination
The thing about finding your direction is that it’s not usually a lightning bolt moment. It’s more like following breadcrumbs. One small choice leading to the next, each step revealing a little more of the path.
I’m learning to trust that as long as I’m growing, as long as I’m putting action behind what I’m learning, I won’t be in the same place a year from now. And honestly, that’s all any of us can ask for.
The right opportunity, the right direction, the right moment; it usually shows up when you’re least expecting it. Which means I can stop trying to control when everything will fall into place and start appreciating that I’m not where I was six months ago.
My self discovery journey isn’t a straight line, and it doesn’t have to be. Neither does yours.
Some days I meditate and find clarity. Other days I meditate and find more questions. Some days I’m excited about all the possibilities ahead. Other days I’m overwhelmed by them.
Both are okay. Both are part of the process.
The goal isn’t to have it all figured out. The goal is to keep moving, keep growing, keep choosing growth over comfort, even when (especially when) you can’t see exactly where you’re headed.
Because here’s what I know for sure: you’re not stuck. You’re just in the messy middle of becoming who you’re meant to be. And that’s actually exactly where you need to be.
Understanding the stages of personal transformation helped me realize that confusion and resistance are actually normal parts of growth, not signs that I’m doing it wrong.
Ready to Start Your Own Self Discovery Journey?
If any of this resonates with you- the overwhelm, the too-many-options paralysis, the fear of choosing wrong; you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
I’ve created a free 7-Day “Say Yes” Starter Pack specifically for people who are tired of being stuck and ready to take the first step toward their authentic direction. Inside, you’ll get:
✨ Daily journal prompts designed to cut through the noise and connect you with what actually matters to you
🌱 Nervous system regulation techniques to help you make decisions from a calm, centered place instead of fear
🔥 Guidance for “burning down the old self”- releasing outdated patterns so you can step into who you’re becoming
This isn’t about having all the answers overnight. It’s about building the foundation for trusting yourself and taking aligned action, even when the path isn’t crystal clear.
Get your free 7-Day “Say Yes” Starter Pack here
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do I know if I’m making the right choice when everything feels uncertain?
A: The truth is, there often isn’t one “right” choice- there are just different paths that lead to different experiences. Focus less on picking the perfect option and more on choosing something that excites you enough to take the first step. You can always course-correct as you go.
Q: What if I start something new and fail like I have before?
A: Your past doesn’t dictate your future, but it can inform it. Look at what specifically led to those previous outcomes- was it lack of support? Unrealistic expectations? Wrong timing? Use those insights to set yourself up differently this time, rather than assuming you’ll repeat the same patterns.
Q: How long does it typically take to find clarity about life direction?
A: This varies wildly for everyone, but most people find that clarity comes in waves rather than one big revelation. Some insights happen quickly, others take months or years to fully develop. The key is staying consistent with taking initiative towards what you are working toward. Practices that help you tune into yourself- whether that’s journaling, meditation, therapy, or simply trying new things will help uncover ideas you never would have come across otherwise.
Q: I’m overwhelmed by all the personal development advice out there. Where should I start?
A: Start with what feels most urgent or exciting to you right now. If you’re anxious, focus on nervous system regulation first. If you’re confused about direction, start with values clarification exercises. Don’t try to do everything at once; pick one area and give it consistent attention for at least a month before adding something new.
Q: Is it normal to feel scared about making big life changes?
A: Absolutely. Fear is often a sign that you’re considering something important to you. The goal isn’t to eliminate fear but to develop courage; the ability to take meaningful action even when you’re scared. Start with smaller steps that feel manageable but still stretch you beyond your comfort zone.
Reborn MeatSuit 
Leave a comment