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Last week, I counted them. Seventeen half-finished projects sitting in various folders on my computer. A blog redesign stuck at 30%. Three different online courses abandoned mid-module. Five business ideas with detailed plans that never saw day two of execution.
Sound familiar?
If you’re nodding your head right now, wondering why you can get so excited about starting something new but lose steam the moment it gets challenging, you’re in the right place. Because I’ve been living this cycle for years, and I finally think I know why it happens; and more importantly, how to break it.
What really opened my eyes was when I started pulling my old blog posts from the vault to edit and publish. That’s when I discovered something both fascinating and terrifying about this pattern.
The Pattern That Won’t Break
The topics I wrote about a year or two ago are eerily identical to the challenges I’m facing today. It’s like my past self was having a conversation with my present self, and neither of us has fully figured it out yet.
But here’s what I’ve realized is even more important: if these topics keep repeating, there’s still a lesson I haven’t fully grasped.
My impatient rush to skim surface-level knowledge has never fully integrated into lasting change. I write something down, assume it’s locked in my mental vault forever, then completely forget I ever learned it. Call me simple, call me normal, but for my brain to really grasp something, it needs recurring, consistent practice to set it into my subconscious.
While it’s interesting that these old entries still mirror my current struggles, it also scares me. I have plans, dreams, places I want to see; yet I’m still stuck in patterns that hold me back. The biggest culprit? Jumping around looking for some kind of ease, especially in this AI age where everyone seems to have figured out how to create income streams while I’m stuck cycling through projects. Starting strong, then pausing the moment inconvenience strikes.
The ADHD Brain Dilemma: When Consistency Feels Impossible
This has been my pattern for years, but this year I swore I’d stick to my guns with my Reborn MeatSuit brand and see what kind of growth I could achieve. The good news? I’ve been consistent about 90% of the time since I started focusing on this run. The challenge? My ADHD mind gives me new ideas daily, and reeling it in to focus on one thing requires constant attentiveness.
Rather than scattering my focus across everything I think I want to do, this new approach of focusing on one thing is actually helping me follow through. It’s teaching me that maybe I don’t need to abandon my nature, I just need to work with it differently.
Here’s something I’ve learned about building habits with ADHD: we often get caught up trying to follow someone else’s blueprint for success. The research on ADHD and executive function shows that our brains literally work differently, which means traditional habit-building advice often falls short for us. Those inspiring stories of what to look out for and what not to do always intrigue me. Yet there’s this stubborn side of me that’s a glutton for punishment, choosing the hard path just to learn from my own mistakes.
It reminds me of the enlightened teacher who became enlightened when he stubbed his toe. All his students started wandering around in the same area, trying to stub their toes for the same effect. But it was his journey, not theirs, and no one received the same insight.
From People-Pleasing to Authentic Sharing
Here’s something I’ve learned through all this self-discovery work: there’s a difference between abandoning yourself to help others and sharing your journey authentically. As a recovering people pleaser, I used to think “serving others” meant completely sacrificing myself.
Now I understand it’s about sharing insights without claiming to have all the answers. I’m not here to tell you exactly what will work for you; because honestly, I’m still figuring it out myself. But maybe that’s exactly why my story might help.
When Learning Becomes Another Addiction
The fact that I’ve been working hard on learning about myself and practicing development techniques, only to see I’m still caught in circular patterns, makes me more certain that my way of doing things is directly tied to my personal growth.
Call it imposter syndrome if you want, but the truth is I still have inner demons I’m learning to coexist with. Ever since getting sober, I feel like I’ve lost my mojo. There’s so much to learn, and the chase of new information has become my new high. If you’re struggling with similar patterns and feel like you need professional support to break these cycles, online therapy can be incredibly helpful for addressing underlying patterns that keep us stuck.
This repeating pattern shows me that my learning addiction might be just as dangerous as living obliviously on autopilot. Maybe even worse because I can see where changes are needed, yet I continue making choices that feel comfortable rather than choices that align with the direction I want to go.
So what’s a never-ending learner to do when learning itself becomes the problem?
The 66-Day Experiment: Testing Self-Discipline Techniques
With all this surface-level learning and the understanding that nothing’s really sticking, I’ve come to a conclusion: it’s time to pivot and change my process. I keep coming across studies showing that 66 days is the sweet spot for creating new habits. A timeframe that seems like forever, yet as my past has proven, time passes regardless. Research from University College London actually found that it takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a habit, with the average being 66 days.
So here’s my experiment: 66 days of focusing on one particular task, one change that aligns with my values and serves my future self. Instead of wallowing in excuses about not being able to change direction, I’m going to test this theory and work on staying disciplined with one main task.
To overcome my labels of being inconsistent, squirrel-brained, and directionless, I’m starting today. In all my research, there’s one thing I initially skipped over, not realizing its importance: regulating the nervous system; the part of us that helps deal with our emotions.
This has been a fairly new insight I’ve been dabbling with for the past month, but I’ve been following my usual pattern of reading, learning, getting bored, then moving on to something new and exciting. The research on trauma-informed nervous system regulation shows just how fundamental this work is for creating lasting change, but there’s deeper work to be done in integrating these necessary actions.
Making It Real: The Challenge Begins
This will be my test of faith, something I need to do for myself. For the next 66 days, I’m going to focus solely on staying consistent with nervous system regulation practices. I’m diving deeper than surface level, researching and studying from multiple sources to the best of my ability.
And here’s where you come in…
What better way to engrain the learning than to share what I discover along the process? While I’m fresh and learning this information, I’m inviting you along for the challenge. There’s still a part of me that won’t allow myself to do things just for me, so my hope is that committing to share this research will provide the motivation I’ve failed to maintain for myself alone.
It’s like killing two birds with one stone; stepping back into a school framework where research is required for better presentation. The fact that I know and admit I’m not doing this solely for myself is a topic for another discussion, but what better way to overcome procrastination patterns than to flip the script and make it about helping others too?
Which brings me to the bigger picture…
Reframing the Journey
This life we live is all about what we make it. I may not have a completely solidified plan, but I can say I’m getting further than I ever imagined. The things I want are different from what others want, but if I can share my process in hopes it finds the right people, that’s all I can be grateful for.
Don’t beat yourself up for what you aren’t. Instead, take time to reframe your thought process around what you know you can accomplish. I’ve learned that the more I understand my “flaws,” the more I can use them as ammunition; almost manipulating myself into using my perceived downfalls as superpowers.
Everyone’s sense of self-love and worth is created within their own dynamics. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you’re the only person you’ll be in contact with forever. Find the way to spread your wings, let go of the constant critic telling you you’re not enough, and use what you’re good at in a new direction to benefit your comeback.
The Challenge: I’m committing to 66 days of focused nervous system regulation practice, and I’m documenting the journey. Will you join me? Not because you need to follow my exact path, but because maybe we can figure out our own versions of how to follow through together.
What’s one thing you’ve been starting but not finishing? What would 66 days of focused attention do for that area of your life?
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Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why do you keep starting things but not finishing them?
A: It’s a combination of ADHD brain patterns, getting caught up in the excitement of new projects, and not having a regulated nervous system to sustain focus when things get challenging. The surface-level learning addiction means I get the dopamine hit from starting but haven’t built the foundation to push through the hard middle parts.
Q: How do you know 66 days will work this time when other attempts haven’t?
A: Honestly, I don’t know for certain. But this time I’m focusing on the underlying nervous system regulation instead of just trying to force behavioral changes. Plus, practice makes perfect; the consistent focused work on a sole task creates the repetition needed to engrain new choices to become automatic habits.
Q: What exactly will you be doing for nervous system regulation?
A: I’ll be researching and practicing various techniques like breathwork, grounding exercises, somatic practices, and trauma-informed approaches. The key is consistency with whatever practices I choose. Learning different tools and figuring out which work best for me, rather than jumping between different methods like I usually do.
Q: Why share this struggle so publicly?
A: Because I’ve learned that I’m not the only one stuck in these patterns. If my process helps even one person recognize their own cycles and find a way through them, then the vulnerability is worth it. Plus, accountability helps me actually follow through.
Q: What if you fail again?
A: Then I’ll have learned something valuable about what doesn’t work for me, and I’ll adjust. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress and self-understanding. Even “failure” is data that can inform the next attempt.
This is day one of my 66-day consistency experiment. Follow along as I share what I learn about building lasting habits, working with an ADHD brain, and finally breaking the cycle of starting without finishing. Because maybe the secret isn’t changing who we are; maybe it’s learning how to work with who we are.
Reborn MeatSuit 
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