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I sat in my barbershop chair today, watching money walk right out the door. Not because I was swamped with work. Not because I couldn’t handle it. But because I was too chicken to speak up and say two simple words: “I’m available.”

Ever feel like you’re stuck in your own head, creating drama where there doesn’t need to be any? That moment when life throws you a curveball, and instead of swinging, you duck? Yeah, that was me today. And something tells me you’ve been there too.

The Opportunity That Slipped Through My Fingers

Let me set the scene for you. I rent a chair at this barbershop two days a week – just enough to see my regular clients while I chase other entrepreneurial dreams. It’s a solid setup, except for one thing: I’ve been so worried about rocking the boat that I’ve been leaving cash on the table.

Today felt different, though. Walk-ins started rolling in. Three of them. I only had two of my own clients booked, so I had time to kill. But as each potential customer got the “sorry, we’re full” treatment, I just sat there. Like a ghost in my own life, watching opportunities float by.

It wasn’t until the last guy walked out that the universe smacked me upside the head: Dude, you could have just asked. You could have said, “Hey, I’m free if you need me.” Instead, I let my fear of stepping on toes cost me both quick cash and maybe a customer for life.

When Your Mind Becomes the Enemy

Here’s what really went down in that chair today. My brain turned into this feedback loop of worst-case scenarios. Like a broken record playing the same depressing song over and over.

In my head, speaking up meant getting yelled at, getting kicked out, burning bridges I’d worked hard to build. My imagination went full disaster movie mode.

But here’s the thing about limiting beliefs – they’re not real. They’re just old stories we keep telling ourselves, like that one friend who won’t stop talking about their ex from three years ago.

I wasn’t actually afraid of the shop owner’s reaction. I was afraid of my own shadow, you know? Every time I’d spoken up before, every time I’d pushed back, my brain filed it under “danger zone.” So when opportunity knocked, my internal security system went into full lockdown.

The universe has this funny way of showing us what we need to learn. And today’s lesson hit different.

The Real Price of Playing It Safe

The money I lost today? That was just the opening act. The real cost cut way deeper.

I lost the chance to build confidence in my own voice. I lost the shot at practicing how to stand up for myself. I lost the experience of finding out that maybe, just maybe, the world wouldn’t end if I stepped outside my comfort zone.

But most importantly, I lost the chance to see what was actually possible. Because here’s what I’m learning: when you don’t ask, the answer is always no. When you don’t speak up, you never find out if there was another path.

As I sat there after that last potential client walked away, something shifted. Instead of beating myself up, I started thinking differently. What if instead of assuming I’d get shut down, I got curious? What if I could pay extra to take walk-ins when I’m there? What if the shop owner had been waiting for me to show some initiative?

It’s like that moment in a song when the quiet verse explodes into the chorus – sometimes you need that shift in energy to see what’s really possible.

Breaking Free from the Same Old Song

I’ve been working on launching other business stuff lately – things totally outside my wheelhouse. And I keep hitting the same wall: my own limiting beliefs. That voice that says “you don’t know what you’re doing,” “you’re not good enough,” “what if you crash and burn?”

But there’s this dude I met at the park who plays guitar there every day. When I asked him about it, he said something that stuck with me like a good hook: “It all depends on how much you want it, and you gotta stick with it.”

Simple words, but they cut through all the noise in my head. Because while I’m over here creating elaborate reasons why I can’t make it, he’s out there doing his thing, day after day, getting better, building something real.

There’s something spiritual about that kind of commitment. Like he’s tapped into something bigger than his fears. And I realized I want that too – that connection to something beyond my own self-doubt and inner critic.

The Questions That Flip the Script

I’ve started asking myself different questions when fear of opportunity shows up. There’s this thing called “The Work” by Byron Katie that’s been a game-changer for me. When you have a stressful thought, you ask it four simple questions:

• Is it true? (Really think about this one)
• Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Like, 100% certain?)
• How do you react when you believe that thought? (What happens to your body, your energy?)
• Who would you be without that thought? (Imagine it just… gone)

Then I throw in my own questions:

• What’s the worst that could actually happen? (Not the movie version my brain creates, but for real)
• What’s the best thing that could happen if I take this shot?
• What will bug me more – trying and failing, or never trying at all?

These questions don’t make the fear disappear – it’s still there, humming in the background like amp feedback. But they help me see it for what it really is: just information, not orders I have to follow.

My fear is trying to protect me, but it’s using old data. Like trying to navigate with a GPS from 2005 – it might get you somewhere, but probably not where you want to go.

Learning to Dance with the Unknown

Here’s what I’m figuring out: there’s a difference between jumping off a cliff with no parachute and being so scared of heights that you never leave the ground floor.

The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle. It’s about taking smart risks, speaking up when opportunities show up, and being willing to deal with whatever comes next.

Today taught me that wondering “what if” weighs heavier than hearing “no.” Getting shut down on the first try? That’s just info you can use to change your approach. But never trying at all? That’s a guarantee you’ll stay exactly where you are.

There’s something almost sacred about that moment when you choose to act despite the fear. Like you’re honoring something bigger than your own comfort zone.

For more on building confidence to take risks, check out my thoughts on why playing it safe is actually the riskiest move you can make.

The Permission You’ve Been Waiting For

I used to think I needed permission to be curious, to push limits, to explore what was possible. But I’m realizing the only permission I’ve been waiting for is my own.

Every day is a chance to learn something new if you let it be. Today’s lesson cost me some cash, but it gave me something worth more: clarity about what I want to do differently next time.

The limiting belief that everything from my past is just going to repeat itself? That’s what kept me from creating the schedule I actually wanted when I first joined the shop. But maybe the universe had other plans – maybe this new talk about a higher flat rate will work out even better.

And if it doesn’t? Well, life’s full of opportunities when you’re not too scared to speak up. Sometimes you just have to trust that you’re being guided toward something better, even when you can’t see it yet.

Moving Forward, One Real Conversation at a Time

I’m not telling you this story because I’ve got it all figured out. I’m telling you because I’m right there with you, learning to overcome the same stuff that might be holding you back.

The fear doesn’t just vanish overnight. That voice that says “don’t rock the boat” doesn’t suddenly become your biggest fan. But you can learn to recognize it, question it, and choose to act anyway.

Tomorrow, I’m going to have that conversation about taking walk-ins. I’m going to approach it with curiosity instead of fear, possibility instead of limits. And whatever happens, I’ll handle it.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just walking each other home anyway. We might as well make it interesting while we’re here.

Your opportunities are out there, waiting. The question is: are you ready to speak up and claim them?

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Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I know if my fear is protecting me or holding me back? A: Ask yourself: “Is this fear based on a real, current danger, or is it based on past experiences or imagined scenarios?” Real protection kicks in when there’s actual risk. Limiting beliefs kick in when you’re safe but scared.

Q: What if I try Byron Katie’s questions and still feel stuck? A: That’s totally normal. The questions aren’t magic – they’re tools. Sometimes you need to sit with the discomfort for a bit. The goal isn’t to eliminate fear, but to act despite it.

Q: How do I stop creating worst-case scenarios in my head? A: You don’t have to stop them completely. Just recognize when it’s happening and ask: “Is this helping me or hurting me right now?” Then redirect that creative energy toward imagining positive outcomes instead.

Q: What if speaking up actually does damage my relationships? A: If speaking up respectfully about your needs damages a relationship, that tells you something important about the relationship. Healthy relationships can handle honest communication.

Q: How do I build confidence to take more risks? A: Start small. Take tiny risks that feel manageable, then build up. Each time you act despite fear and survive, you’re building evidence that you can handle uncertainty.

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Ready to Stop Letting Opportunities Pass You By?

If this story hit home, you’re not alone. Most of us have been trained to play it safe, to avoid rocking the boat, to stay quiet when we should speak up.

But here’s the thing: your dreams are on the other side of those conversations you’re avoiding.

What’s one opportunity you’ve been too scared to pursue? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below. Sometimes just naming it out loud is the first step toward claiming it.

Want more real talk about overcoming limiting beliefs? Subscribe to my newsletter where I share the messy, unfiltered journey of building a life that actually feels authentic. No fluff, no fake inspiration – just real stories from someone figuring it out as she goes.

Remember: the world needs what you have to offer. Don’t let fear keep it locked away.