Three years ago, my world came crashing down. I lost my best friend – my 14-year-old companion who had been my reason for getting up every morning, my purpose for working, my anchor in a world that often felt like chaos. When she died, I didn’t just lose a pet. I lost my entire sense of direction.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re living someone else’s life, following a path that once made sense but now feels hollow, you’ll get what happened next. I found myself staring at a successful hair salon career that I’d built over decades, wondering why it all felt so damn empty. The creativity was still there, the lovely clients were still there, but something deeper was missing. That something was me.

The Moment Everything Shifted

I thought I had life figured out. I’d climbed the ladder in the hair industry, created financial stability, and checked all the boxes that society told me would equal success. But when my furry companion passed away, those boxes suddenly looked like a prison I’d built around myself.

The grief wasn’t just about losing her. It was about realizing I’d been living for someone else’s definition of what my life should look like. What I thought I wanted since childhood wasn’t what I needed as an adult. The safe path I’d chosen was suffocating the person I was becoming.

So I did what many of us do when we’re desperate for answers: I turned to social media for guidance. I consumed every piece of content about finding yourself, slowing down, and discovering your true purpose. The algorithm fed me endless videos about manifestation, the law of attraction, and spiritual awakening. I was drowning in information but starving for real change.

The Trap of Instant Gratification

Here’s what they don’t tell you about personal growth: it’s messy, slow, and nothing like the highlight reels you see online. While everyone else seemed to have their shit together, I was stuck in what felt like spiritual quicksand. I’d think positive thoughts for a week, expect my world to change, then crash harder when reality didn’t match my vision board.

The problem wasn’t the tools – manifestation and positive thinking have their place in the universe. The problem was that I was trying to plant new seeds in soil that hadn’t been cleared of old weeds. I was avoiding the hard work of understanding why I made the choices I did, why I accepted less than I deserved, and why I’d spent years being my own worst enemy.

Three years might seem like forever to figure things out, but I needed every month of that journey. I needed to burn myself out on surface-level solutions before I was ready to dig deeper. I needed to feel the frustration of trying to think my way out of patterns that lived in my bones. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to find the solid ground to build on.

The Real Work Begins

The breakthrough came when I stopped trying to bypass my problems and started facing them head-on. This meant looking at uncomfortable truths about my relationships, my self-worth, and the ways I’d been settling for scraps when I deserved the whole damn meal.

I started a marketing agency a few months back, and my mentor’s first rule was simple: “Don’t worry about what’s next. Just do the work required now.” If someone had tattooed that message on my forehead three years ago, I probably would have rolled my eyes and kept planning my life to death. But now? It makes perfect sense.

The magic wasn’t in having all the answers. It was in taking one step, then another, and trusting that the path would reveal itself as I walked it. The universe has a funny way of showing you doors when you’re actually ready to walk through them. For the first time in years, I was doing more in the present moment than I’d ever accomplished while planning for some imaginary future.

Discovering Who I Really Am

The strangest part of this journey has been discovering pieces of myself I never knew existed. I found out I genuinely enjoy cooking – not just heating up frozen dinners, but actually creating meals from scratch. I discovered that I have motherly instincts and that I’m capable of being in a relationship where care flows both ways.

This last part was revolutionary. I’d spent years attracting men who needed me to take care of them while giving nothing in return. I thought that was normal. I thought that was what I was worth. Meeting someone who actually supported me back was like discovering a new color – I didn’t even know it was possible.

It’s heartbreaking to admit, but I really didn’t know any better. I thought love meant being needed, not being valued. I thought my worth was tied to how much I could give, not how much I deserved to receive. Breaking free from that pattern required me to rebuild my entire understanding of what I bring to the table. The universe was basically saying, “Hey, you’re worth more than this bullshit.”

The Ongoing Journey of Self-Worth

Here’s what I’ve learned about finding life purpose: it’s not a destination you arrive at, it’s a relationship you build with yourself. The clearer I became about my own worth, the clearer my path became. The more I honored my own needs, the more opportunities appeared that actually aligned with who I was becoming.

I used to think self-worth was something you either had or didn’t have. Now I understand it’s something you practice, every day, in small moments and big decisions. It’s choosing to speak up when something doesn’t feel right. It’s walking away from situations that diminish you. It’s believing you deserve good things before you have proof that you do.

The energy you put out into the world comes back to you. That’s not just spiritual mumbo-jumbo – it’s real. When you start treating yourself with respect, other people notice. When you stop accepting less than you deserve, better opportunities show up. It’s like the universe was just waiting for you to get your act together.

If you’re struggling to find your own clarity, here are the questions that changed everything for me:

• What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail and money wasn’t a factor?
• What patterns keep showing up in your life that you’re ready to break?
• What would someone who truly loved you want for your life?
• What are you tolerating that you know in your heart you don’t have to?
• If you removed everyone else’s expectations, what would you choose?

The answers might not come immediately, and that’s okay. The point is to start asking different questions than the ones that got you where you are now.

Trust the Process, Even When It’s Unclear

I still don’t have all the answers. I have ideas, hunches, and a growing sense of what feels right, but I’m learning to be okay with not having the complete picture. The woman who needed to know every step of the plan before she could move forward is slowly being replaced by someone who can take the next right step without guarantees.

What I do know is this: my values are different now. My boundaries are stronger. My capacity for love – both giving and receiving – has expanded in ways I couldn’t have imagined three years ago. I’m not the same person who was afraid to make the wrong choice, because I finally understand that there are no wrong choices, only different paths that teach us different lessons.

Finding life purpose after loss isn’t about replacing what you’ve lost or getting back to who you used to be. It’s about allowing the grief to crack you open so something new can grow in the space that’s created. It’s about trusting that the very thing that broke you might also be the thing that sets you free.

The journey continues, and I’m finally okay with not knowing exactly where it’s leading. Because for the first time in my life, I trust myself enough to find out. The universe has a plan, even when we can’t see it. Sometimes you just have to turn up the music and keep walking.

---

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to find your life purpose after a major loss?

There’s no set timeline, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. For me, it took three years of active inner work, but I’m still discovering new layers. Some people find clarity in months, others take decades. The key is being patient with yourself and trusting the process.

What if I don’t know where to start with finding my purpose?

Start with what pisses you off about your current situation. Seriously. Your frustration is pointing you toward what needs to change. Then ask yourself: what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? The answer might surprise you.

Is it normal to feel lost after losing someone close to you?

Absolutely. Grief doesn’t just affect how you feel – it affects how you see your entire life. When someone (or in my case, a beloved pet) who gave your life meaning is gone, it’s natural to question everything. That questioning, as painful as it is, can be the beginning of finding your authentic path.

How do you know if you’re on the right path?

You’ll feel it in your body. The right path doesn’t always feel easy, but it feels aligned. You’ll have more energy, even when you’re working hard. Opportunities will start showing up. People will respond to you differently. Trust your gut over your head.

What’s the difference between a spiritual awakening and just being confused?

A spiritual awakening usually involves recognizing patterns you couldn’t see before and feeling called to change them. Confusion is just confusion – it doesn’t necessarily lead to growth. If you’re asking deeper questions about your life and feeling pulled toward something more authentic, that’s awakening territory.

---

Ready to Start Your Own Journey?

If this story resonates with you, you’re not alone. Finding life purpose after loss is one of the most challenging but rewarding journeys you can take. The path isn’t always clear, but it’s always worth walking.

Want to dive deeper into your own transformation? I share more about my ongoing journey, including the practical tools and mindset shifts that made the biggest difference. Subscribe to my newsletter for weekly insights on finding clarity, building self-worth, and trusting your own path.

Connect with me: I’d love to hear about your own journey. Drop me a comment or find me on TT, IG, or YouTube @rebornmeatsuit. Let’s support each other as we figure this whole life thing out.

Remember: You don’t have to have it all figured out to take the next step. You just have to be willing to begin.