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I used to be trapped in my own mental prison, and I was the one holding the keys.

“I have to sit at this computer all day.” “I have to make this side business work.” “I have to figure out online marketing.” These words felt like chains around my soul, dragging me deeper into this dark place where nothing felt good anymore.

Last year alone, I started three different online businesses. A dropshipping store. A digital course. A freelance writing service. Each one represented hours of YouTube tutorials, late nights learning new skills, and money invested in tools I barely understood. And each one? I abandoned before it could actually work.

Looking back, I see I was my own worst enemy. I was stuck in this toxic relationship with myself, using these two words that turned every opportunity into a cage.

Breaking Free from Mental Chains

When I tell myself “I have to do something,” it’s like my spirit rebels instantly. My whole being starts screaming for freedom, looking for any way out of whatever I’m forcing myself to do.

I’d sit down to work on my dropshipping store and my mind would start spinning: What if I just grabbed some ice cream and watched Netflix instead? The harder I pushed with “I have to get this done,” the more my soul fought back.

This negative mindset was like poison spreading through my whole life. “I have to go to the gym.” “I have to call my mom back.” “I have to meal prep.” Even good stuff started feeling like punishment instead of gifts.

I was living like everything was just another item on some endless list, wondering why I felt so empty inside.

When Your Soul Starts Breaking Down

The breaking point hit me like a lightning bolt on a Tuesday afternoon. I was staring at my laptop, trying to force myself through another session of learning Facebook ads. My whole body felt tense, like I was fighting a war with myself.

So I did something that felt like rebellion: I walked away.

I slammed the laptop shut, grabbed that ice cream, and spent the rest of the day numbing out with old TV shows. For a moment, it felt like I was finally free. No more pressure. No more forcing. No more fighting myself.

But here’s the truth bomb that hit me later: I wasn’t free at all. I just traded one prison for another. Instead of feeling trapped by “have to,” I was now drowning in guilt, frustration, and this deep knowing that I was meant for something bigger.

The Universe Sent Me a Wake-Up Call

The shift happened when I least expected it.

I was venting to my friend Sarah about my latest failed project when she dropped this bomb on me: “Wait, you GET TO work from home, learn cool new skills, and build something that’s totally yours. That sounds incredible.”

I get to.

Those three words hit my soul like the perfect song on the radio. Instead of feeling trapped by my life, I started seeing it as this amazing adventure I’d chosen. I wasn’t being forced to learn marketing – I got to gain skills that could change everything. I wasn’t stuck at my computer – I got to create from my own space.

This simple reframe didn’t just change work. It started awakening something deeper in me. Check out more in this article from Psychology Today: The Power of Language were they talk about how self-talk affects brain function.

Words Are Magic (And We’re All Casting Spells)

Here’s what blew my mind about personal growth: the meaning we give words comes straight from our own inner world. When I said “I have to,” I was basically casting a spell on myself – telling my spirit I had no power, no choice, no freedom.

But everything we do is actually a choice we’re making. Even the stuff that feels required comes with results we’ve decided we can handle. I choose to pay my bills because I want a roof and electricity. I choose to work out because I want to feel strong and alive.

When I started listening to my inner voice, I caught myself using “have to” language everywhere. Each time, I was programming myself to feel powerless instead of remembering I’m the creator of my own reality.

This awareness became the foundation for changing my whole mindset.

5 Mind-Blowing Techniques That Changed Everything

These are the tools I use when I catch myself falling back into that dark “have to” headspace:

• The Power Choice: Before doing anything, I say out loud, “I’m choosing this because…” and finish it. Sounds simple, but it instantly shifts me from victim to creator.
• The Gratitude Flip: Instead of “I have to learn this,” I say “I get to add another superpower to my toolkit.” Same task, totally different energy. (Check out Harvard Business Review: Reframing Challenges – Research on reframing techniques in high-performance settings)
• The Future Vision: I focus on good stuff that’s coming instead of bad stuff I’m avoiding. Instead of “I have to work out or I’ll get weak,” I think “I get to build strength for tomorrow’s adventures.”
• The Blessing Bridge: When something feels heavy, I connect it to something I’m grateful for. “I get to stress about this deadline because I have work that actually matters.”
• The Future Self Test: I ask, “Will future me be grateful I did this?” This helps me see temporary pain as an investment in something bigger.

Finding Peace in the Messy Middle

I’m not gonna lie and say this transformation was instant. There are still days when I catch myself complaining about what I “have to” do. The difference is now I notice it happening, and I have these tools to shift my energy.

Last month, I finally launched a writing business that actually works. Not because I forced myself through it with “have to” energy, but because I showed up with genuine “I get to” excitement. I get to use words to help people. I get to work with clients who value my ideas. I get to build something that’s completely mine.

The work itself hasn’t changed. Learning client stuff, setting up systems, writing proposals – it’s all the same tasks I ran from when they felt like prison. But approaching them as gifts I’ve chosen makes everything different.

The Ultimate Freedom Is Already Yours

Having choice in how we see our daily lives is the ultimate freedom, and most of us totally take it for granted. Every morning, we wake up with hundreds of small decisions that shape our whole experience. The words we use with ourselves is one of those decisions.

You don’t have to flip your entire life upside down to feel more free. You just have to change how you see the life you’re already living. You get to turn challenges into growth opportunities. You get to see obstacles as proof you’re expanding your limits. You get to choose gratitude over bitterness, curiosity over frustration, possibility over fear. Stanford Research on Growth Mindset shares scientific backing for how our beliefs shape our reality.

This isn’t about fake positivity or pretending everything is perfect. Some days are brutal. Some tasks genuinely suck. But even on those days, I get to choose how I move through them. And that choice – that simple shift from “have to” to “get to” – has changed everything about how my life feels.

Your situation might not change overnight, but your relationship to it can shift in a heartbeat. And sometimes, that’s exactly the breakthrough you need to finally start moving forward.

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Ready to Transform Your Own “Have To” Into “Get To”?

If this post hit you in the feels, you’re not alone. Thousands of people are breaking free from mental prisons they didn’t even know they built. Want to dive deeper into mindset shifts that actually work?

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What’s one thing you’ve been saying “I have to” do that you could reframe as “I get to” do today? Drop it in the comments below – I read every single one.

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FAQ: Common Questions About Mindset Shift Techniques

Q: How long does it take to change from “have to” to “get to” thinking? A: Everyone’s different, but most people start noticing shifts within 2-3 weeks of consistent practice. The key is catching yourself in the moment and gently redirecting, not beating yourself up when you slip back into old patterns.

Q: What if I genuinely hate doing something? Won’t “get to” thinking feel fake? A: Start smaller. Instead of “I get to do taxes,” try “I get to take care of my financial health” or “I get to avoid penalties.” Find the bigger picture benefit that actually resonates with you. If it still feels fake, that’s okay – sometimes we need to feel the resistance before we can move through it.

Q: Can this mindset shift technique work for serious challenges like job loss or health issues? A: Yes, but be gentle with yourself. In crisis situations, start with tiny reframes. “I get to use this time to reassess what I really want” or “I get to discover how strong I am.” It’s not about toxic positivity – it’s about finding small pockets of empowerment within difficult circumstances.

Q: My family/friends think positive thinking is weird. How do I handle that? A: You don’t need to announce your mindset work to everyone. This is internal growth that speaks through your actions and energy. As you feel more empowered and peaceful, people will notice the change without you having to explain anything.

Q: What’s the difference between this and toxic positivity? A: Toxic positivity ignores real problems and forces fake happiness. Mindset shifting acknowledges challenges while choosing to focus on what you can control – your response. You can feel frustrated about a situation AND choose empowering language about your role in it.