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Let’s be real for a hot second. I probably judge someone before I’ve even fully opened my eyes in the morning. Maybe it’s my neighbor’s chaotic parking job, or someone’s gym outfit choice, or – plot twist – judging myself for wearing the same black band tee for the third day straight.
Yeah, I said it. And if you’re reading this with your coffee in hand thinking “same,” then welcome to the club nobody wants to be in.
I was listening to this podcast recently where the guest got brutally honest about his judgment addiction. He said it all came from feeling like he was never enough. That hit me like a rogue wave. I started asking myself: How many times do I actually judge people in one day? And what dark corner of my brain is driving this?
What I found wasn’t Instagram-pretty, but it was real. And if you’re still reading, chances are you’ve been caught in the same mental quicksand.
The Raw Truth About Our Judgment Addiction
When I started paying attention – like really paying attention – I was floored. I judge everything. People’s style choices, their food picks, where they hang out. It’s like my brain is running some twisted commentary track that I never subscribed to.
This isn’t just about other people either. I’m constantly side-eyeing myself, wondering if my whole black-everything aesthetic is tanking my business potential. My daily uniform of ripped jeans and vintage band tees doesn’t exactly scream “trust me with your money,” you know?
But here’s the thing I’m learning: catching yourself in the act is like the first spell in breaking this curse. It’s about redirecting that mental energy before it eats you alive.
When Your Inner Critic Becomes Your Worst Enemy
Here’s where it gets messy as hell. I used to dive deep into analyzing why I do certain things, but that just became another toxic spiral. I’d latch onto whatever explanation I found and then tumble down this rabbit hole of guilt and self-pity without actually changing anything.
The real kicker? The self-judgment around my business journey has been the hardest beast to tame.
When I started building my online world, everyone was like “create your avatar” – know exactly who you’re talking to. Get specific about this one person who represents thousands of potential clients.
I got completely stuck on this. I vibe with people who get my dark aesthetic – the misfits, the rebels, the people with hearts bigger than their tough exteriors. But then my brain started its mean girl routine: Would these people even care about mindset work? And if they did, would they actually invest in themselves?
The worst part? I was basing this whole mental movie on people in my immediate circle. Friends and family who love to complain about their problems while throwing shade at everyone else behind closed doors. I figured if I mentioned my business ideas, they’d tear me apart the same way.
The Conversation That Shifted Everything
One chat with a family member really shook me awake. She was asking about my switch from cutting hair to building a business. She said it must be tough because “not everyone waits until they get home to complain about their haircut like I do.”
I literally stopped mid-sentence. In all my years behind the chair, I’ve barely had anyone complain to my face. I’d way rather someone tell me what needs fixing than ghost me forever. But she couldn’t wrap her head around how I could survive without sticking to something “safe and traditional.”
That’s when the lightbulb exploded: her take had zero to do with my reality. It was her lens, her baggage, her story – not mine.
Whose Voice Actually Gets to Matter?
This is where everything clicked like a perfect guitar riff. What other people think really isn’t my business. Those wild stories spinning in their heads? They’re just mirrors reflecting their own stuff back at them.
I kept asking myself: Who’s right and who’s wrong? But that’s the wrong question entirely. There are always multiple sides to every story, and the only perspective I can actually control is my own.
When I think about connecting with different types of people – maybe someone who rocks designer everything instead of thrift store finds – I catch myself judging again. What would we even talk about? Why would I want to hang with people living that polished lifestyle?
But then I flip the script: Why wouldn’t I want to expand my world? Why wouldn’t I want to learn from people with completely different experiences? We all have something valuable to share. It’s about staying open to hearing what they’ve got to say.
Breaking the Judgment Spell: What’s Actually Working
I’m not gonna pretend I’ve cracked the code, because I haven’t. This is still a daily practice. But here’s what’s making a real difference:
- Catch yourself red-handed – The second you notice judgment creeping in, pause and redirect that energy somewhere useful
- Question your mental stories – Ask yourself: Is this based on facts, or just my own twisted filter?
- Remember everyone’s got magic – Even if someone seems like they’re from another planet, they’ve got experiences and wisdom you don’t have
- Focus on your own lane – You can’t change other people, but you can decide what gets to rent space in your head
- Stop overthinking the “why” – Sometimes digging into your patterns just creates more problems instead of solutions
The goal isn’t to become some zen master who never has judgmental thoughts. It’s about noticing them faster and choosing where to spend your mental currency instead.
Finding Your Real Tribe (Plot Twist: It’s Not About What They Wear)
Here’s what I’ve learned about that whole “avatar” thing that had me so twisted: it doesn’t matter if someone’s rocking Prada or patched-up jeans. The people who are meant to vibe with your message will find you.
I’m not trying to get rich quick or game the system for easy money. I’ve walked that path, and it left me feeling hollow as hell. What matters to me is staying real and helping people realize they don’t have to stay trapped in their mental prison – but only when they’re ready to hear it.
There’s no magic formula for success or personal growth. We’re all just experimenting, making it up as we go along.
The Never-Ending Experiment
Real talk – I still judge people every single day. The difference is I’m getting faster at catching myself, and I’m learning to redirect that energy toward something that actually serves me.
This whole journey has shown me that judgment reveals way more about the person doing it than the person being judged. When I judge someone’s choices, I’m usually just projecting my own fears and insecurities onto them.
Here’s the truth: learning how to stop judging others and yourself isn’t some final destination. It’s an ongoing practice, like learning to play guitar or perfecting your eyeliner. Some days you nail it, some days you don’t, and that’s perfectly human.
What matters is that I’m awake to it now. I’m choosing to focus on my own growth instead of wasting energy on things I can’t control. And bit by bit, I’m breaking free from the mental prison I built for myself.
If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably wrestling with some version of this same demon. The good news? You’re already way ahead of most people just by recognizing it. That awareness is where real transformation begins.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to stop being judgmental? There’s no timeline for this kind of inner work. I still catch myself judging others daily, but I’m getting quicker at redirecting that energy. Think of it like learning an instrument – it’s practice, not perfection.
Is it normal to judge yourself harder than others? Absolutely. Self-judgment cuts deeper because we know all our own secrets and fears. The same techniques that work for judging others work for self-judgment too – awareness and redirection.
What if the people I’m judging really are making bad choices? Here’s the thing: whether someone’s making “good” or “bad” choices isn’t really your business unless it directly impacts you. Focus on your own decisions and let others handle theirs.
Can judgment ever be helpful? Trusting your gut and judgment aren’t the same thing. It’s smart to notice red flags or incompatible vibes, but that’s different from creating whole stories about someone based on surface stuff.
Ready to Break Your Own Mental Chains?
If this post hit you in the feels, you’re definitely not alone in this struggle. The awareness you’re building right now is the first step toward real change.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Spend the next 24 hours just noticing when judgment thoughts pop up. Don’t try to stop them – just observe like you’re studying some fascinating creature. Write down what you discover. That awareness is where the magic starts.
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Reborn MeatSuit 